Suddenly I realized that I wanted everything to be as it was when I was younger. When you’re young enough, you don’t know that you live in a cheap lousy apartment. A cracked chair is nothing other than a chair. A dandelion growing out of a crack in the sidewalk outside your front door is a garden. You could believe that a song your parent was singing in the evening was the most tragic opera in the world. It never occurs to you when you are very young to need something other than what your parents have to offer you.
Heather O’Neill, Lullabies for Little Criminals (via figs3)
going back to school after a break is like when you pause a video game to go pee and when you come back you forget how intense and chaotic everything was when you paused it and the second you unpause it all your enemies collectively punch you in the face
And I understand. I understand why people hold hands: I’d always thought it was about possessiveness, saying ‘This is mine’. But it’s about maintaining contact. It is about speaking without words. It is about I want you with me and don’t go.
I am looking for you
Man with bloodied knuckles and bruised heart
When I sleep I see you in cities I haven’t met yet.
I’ve searched libraries and clubs, mountains and all those hipster-styled stores.
I haven’t found you yet.
Man with jagged scars and open arms
I see you every time I look in the mirror
I don’t know what to call you but I know we are the same.
Golden-skinned man you do not need to hide from me.
There are no demons in your closet that would be too dark
I have spent many years learning how to love you softly and when to love you hard.
Golden-skinned man are you looking for me too? Have you seen my green eyes while dreaming?
Golden-skinned man I have searched for you inside of my skin
I have searched for you in other men
Golden-skinned man I am sorry
I am not a whole being
I have spent years handing out pieces of myself to complete others
Golden-skinned man I can not give you everything, but I will give you everything I can
I will make you egg sandwiches for breakfast
I will buy us cheesy matching clothes
Golden-skinned man I will love you
Golden-skinned man I already love you
Notes to a lover I’ve never met (mynameshouldbeadirtyword.tumblr.com)